Calling God to the witness box - III

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To re-connect to the subject of this series of posts, please have a look at the previous two posts on the subject at:

• Calling God to the witness box - I
• Calling God to the witness box - II

Also recommended are some very thoughtful reader comments on the first post listed above.

We grow, physically and mentally. As we live on, our perceptions of people, beliefs, society, life and ourselves also evolve based on what we have been through and observed around us. This concept of evolving thought captivates me to lead me to believe that as if 'some one' is always working on us into making us what we are. A reflection of this can be seen here as well and has been mentioned here and there in this blog as well time and again. Be it how airplanes fly, or be it how luck and prayer works our perception of everything goes through this evolutionary process!

Switching to the context of this post after that prelude and citing from conclusion of Calling God to the witness box - II

"Since childhood onwards, like everyone else, my understanding of God has been changing based on my own experiences and observations. I hope someone will relate to those when I discuss the same later..."

As long as I remember, it was never my aim to follow my religion to-the-letter. Although it was an expectation from me that was stated with a certain subtlety every now and then both at home, school and while venturing about in the civil society. I still keep getting these lessons sometimes a bit strictly too. My upbringing and schooling in somewhat conservative environment also imbibed the basic tenets of my religion pretty deeply during those young years. Pretty early on, I was, without any doubt, able to comprehend that those tenets actually are a reflection of what a humane living should be. To be, support, defend and follow the 'true'. That was my childhood God. A true power that always supports the righteousness and the right. Becoming the 'right' became an underlying agenda. The definition of 'right' however was guided by what was expected from me. Those expectations being dictated by my own actions that brought be good words from people I cared for and respect. Parents, Grandparents, Teachers, and some neighbors. That agenda, I pursued as per my capability and patience.

Being right in all doings was so important that it became almost a continuous thought always reigning my mind. Trying to put my actions in a rationality guided by this theme as much as possible. Being right here does not mean to force my own opinions and expect unconditional acceptance thereof but being true to your inner self in all your actions and deeds. In that I thought, I will have support of the ultimate 'right' power and this rationale gave me courage to pursue that 'theme'.


That faith in the right stayed with me for a long time until some people close to me got hurt. There was no logical path that led to the incidents that my puny understanding of spirituality was able to comprehend. The silence of intellect underlined by a constant beep of doubt akin to the sound of silence that we hear when there is absolute no noise around us. I reasoned that the ultimate enables also befalls this pain when He could have saved us all of it. I could not agree with the hypothesis of 'God testing our faith' because I was told over and over that He knows all. All means all, including the strength of our resolve towards His will.

The reasoning offered by some that 'there is some hidden betterment for all in this' just did not work for me. These events brought in a law of pre-ordained-destiny as an explanation to the happenings. No matter how much right you do. Whatever is your destiny must befall you. Or honor you if it is so destined. No matter how much you pray, worship, wear symbols around your neck or apply sacred colors on your forehead (the pun is not intended).

Does that mean that there is no need to be right or true? That one will ultimately obtain what they deserve? Or instead of deserve, which makes it sound like we are the judges, lets say 'what is destined for them/us'? Those questions arose and remained unanswered by n number of religious speeches and books. It became a belief that destiny is a constant and it leads you to itself. Whenever I follow that school of belief, I am the happiest person. There are no regrets and no obligations towards any religious or spiritual duty. All the need for being a 'believer' in context of popular meaning of that term, is diminished beyond any significance or abolished altogether. The only belief is in doing the right with all your courage and capability and see the destiny slowly unfold in front of you. Amazing!

Does that means that we can turn into a villain without any moral obligations? Not really. There is no place where our deeds and actions are not going unaccountable for. We are constantly sending into the cosmos, a positive of negative energy by our actions and deeds. The pain inflicted on another being causes your 'cosmic vibes' to play against your tune. This energy dominates our inner self and shapes our future by acting as a driver of luck and chance opening up new doors to success or bringing upon failure and doom in otherwise.

The shine in your eyes and assertiveness in your statements comes from the positive or negative 'credits' you collected that way. The 'light (or darkness) within' shows and has its effect on the world outside. Good happens. Bad stays away (or the other way round). The creature gets his share of destiny. The believer credits it to God. The Atheist connects it to randomness of possibilities.

...and the thinker keeps wondering...!

[concluded]

A relationship unlike the rest

A few strands of trust, promises of a lifetime!

We are born surrounded with people that some cosmic artist had chosen for us to paint our spotless minds with memories and experiences. Siblings, parents, neighbors, relatives, are all decided by destiny even before we are born.

On the way of life, as we move on to find our successes and failures, joys and sorrows, we come across others who are also on the same path. Unconsciously, we judge them based on our own values and perceptions of human life and build an impression about that person in our mind.

If we are lucky, and it has been so ordained, we instantly find a channel of trust build up with someone who was a stranger just a few days ago. It is so natural that we never find ourselves making an effort to maintain that trust and bonding. It just gets stronger and stronger as we interact more.

It is then that we, again unconsciously, choose that person to share our joys, sorrows, ups and downs; unlike the destiny's choice to let us be surrounded by people not of our choosing, we choose that person to share the deepest thoughts about ourselves, the thoughts that we only can speak to a mirror!

And that person is whom we call a friend!

Friendship is that underlying purity that bonds every relationship which so ever. Teacher-Student, Mother-Daughter, Manager-Subordinate, Husband-Wife,You and God! Every relationship is not complete until an essence of friendship is present.

What is most cherish-able about friendship is that unlike all the other relations in the world, friendship exists only because the two like-minded souls have identified each other. They mean no greed to each other. No hate and no selfish motives.


They are just there for each other when needed. Truly concerned and honest. Distances and time cannot separate them and no evil soul can cause a rift in that trust.

Today, I feel proud to have had  and still have friends, moments spent with whom have become my golden memories. These memories that will always bring a teary smile on my face. Those few strands of trust so childishly exchanged on a few first Sundays of some distant Augusts have become promise of a lifetime that I am so happy to keep in spite of the distances and businesses that years have brought between us.


Consider yourself lucky if you have or ever had a friend!

Happy friendship day. :-)

Where are you headed for Sardar jee??

Traveled home this weekend. Return was on Sunday evening and as usual, I reached Mohali around 10:30 PM. If you are lucky, you may get a few autos on the bus-stop but on some not so lucky days (lets be optimistic and avoid the word unlucky :-) ), you can be greeted by an empty stretch heading towards where your home is with couple of street dwellers to garnish the scene.

Worse still, and what I hate the most, you may be welcomed by an enthusiastic but opportunistic auto rickshaw driver seeking  the chance you just provided him. He is the only conveyance available and you are in no way constituent enough to walk some 8 KM to your home with that backpack on you. So, the kill is you and if he is able to make your situation seem miserable enough he may shell out four to ten times the normal fare!

The wise reader knows why I am building this pretext. So that is how it happened this time as well. A sudden surge of blood into my skull made me refuse to the only option offered to me to take me to my place that was made in a plain, indifferent and highly professional sounding tone.


What follows next is what made my day most interesting.


There was no point in staying at the same place that auto stood in order to become an object of misery and occasional verbal pokes to avail the offer being the only available option. Like a vulture waiting for the prey to succumb to hunger and thirst to feast upon, they keep an eye on you till you surrender.


I found it more dignified to move on from that point onwards. On foot! Generally I have experienced that you encounter some other auto one on the way to pick you up after walking a couple of kilometers. There are honest people working for bread out there as well you see.

So, walking I am, with traffic moving on but none for hire. Looking back for an oncoming auto, then walking for a few meters and then again looking back so that I don't miss one.

In this commotion going on inside as well as outside, I suddenly noticed a goods transporter auto rickshaw stop about 30 meters ahead of me. A man unmounted and stood there for a while. Then started walking towards me and dangled a bit to this and that side of himself as if drunk. At this time of the night you cannot be sure what is about to come. However my experiences with uncivilized part of the society have been rare.

That dangling figure was now only 10-15 steps away. A confrontation was inevitable. So what? I turned my antennas up to high level of alertness and walked on. As soon as he was in proximity of one hand's length to my personal space, he inquired, "Sardar jee kithay jaa rahe ho?" (Hi there, where are you headed to?)

That sounded normal and the words where put in a pretty friendly tone. It was in invitation for a free ride as the guy was headed in the same direction as mine. I again rethought about the offer, tried to smell any booze on him. There was none and I realized that that dangling gesture was his way of waiting for me. Funny isn't it?

Looked at his face, seemed like a God's humble creature so I trusted my instincts and hoped in the driver's cabin.

On the way, he started this conversation about why he stopped here for me. I was able to learn that when he was newly married, someone had provided similar services to him and his wife on the way to home while it was raining. And that he returns the favor to the society by helping out travelers whenever possible.

That was indeed dramatic. I don't know whether I would have been able to obtain a for-hire ride home or not. But I certainly brought something home that day.

A black pearl and a debt to return to the society!

Call me a fool...

"dedicated to the one with rose colored glasses"

Call me a fool...I won't mind!

In fact being truly human is all about being a fool. Many pragmatic thinkers would agree to that without hesitation. There is a percentage of the mob who will incessantly label an action or reaction based on an emotional call as a foolishness when they view it against the manners of material world.

As per my thoughts, it takes the skin of a Rhinoceros to take a call from the heart in your stride and just move on. I am not convinced that those hard boiled politicians and criminals don't get a call whenever they commit  something that should is not to be done as per the principles of morality and civilization. They are only pretending to ignore those calls and ultimately perish under the huge burden of trauma that they have caused.

Same goes with all among us who are owners of lesser of those Rhinocerian virtues. Some will acknowledge the call and act. Others decide to bear the burden for rest of their lives.

On affection and attachment, again, fools I appreciate. Fools that jump into trouble for other Fools who have done the same sometime in the past. A preacher of materialism would advocate to keep his skin safe on pretext of destiy and jump out of trouble while someone else faces the music.This preacher is not a Fool, so would state he by measuring the degree of lunacy on his worldly scale.

Fools we are, to cry for someone leaving us.
Fools we are, to take the blame of others.
Fools we are, to take the long route to success.
Fools we are, to let go and start over again.
Fools we are, and in this state of Lunacy, we sing, enjoy, be merry and proud!

Strokes of the cosmic artist

We all remember those early years of our lives that are cherished as the most valuable assets of the time when we are learning the skills to take the first steps into real world.

As I have already mentioned, we are born with minds as blank as a canvas. Like an expert artist, something sketches our emotions, reactions, perceptions, thoughts and point of views on this blank sheet and create, in essence, us; our selves.

For most of us, this process of carving our selves begins pretty early. Even before we realize it. When we grow able enough to recognize and pick up things and toddle around the place, when we start exploring the stuff around us, when we start recognizing the sounds and voices, when we start learning the ways of the world around us, when we start experiencing the feelings arising within us as well as the feelings we receive from our surroundings.

The first time we roll off the bed :-),
first time we relish a chocolate,
first time we come to know that an iron is hot,
first time we realize it hurts when something pricks,
first time we understand that speaking is better than crying,
first time we experience what an injection is,

many first times...

Even a young infant, unable to speak yet, is able to understand the feeling of humiliation from a group of people laughing at her funny or stupid act. Understands the warmth of a mother's lap, and knows the difference from others'. Derives pleasure from a particular song playing on the TV. Knows her favorites and so on.

The little one may not remember these virtues of herself after the transition into the conscious life few years later, but each of these incidences that have forged these virtues into her self, happen to add a small stroke on that blank canvas of an evolving self.

Strokes of some cosmic artist on the blank canvas alias human mind, drawing the outlines that will become difficult to alter later. Like the first few strokes of an artist that determine the proportions of the final sketch. No matter how hard the artist tries later, those first ones will always influence the artwork in making. Quite an analogy apart from the fact that an artist can start over!

The world around us, composed of love, affection, care, happiness, elation, fondness, motherhood, luxury, satisfaction, warmth, comfort, and so many soothing feelings also harbors the opposites to these feelings! However, nature works, not by some equations, but by the principles of randomness and permutations and combination. Each one of us experiences the same emotions and feelings but in different proportions, at different times and to different extents.

Let us talk about our little infant that knows her mother's lap from others'. One day she, curious about a colorful toy on the shelf across the bedroom, rolled off the bed to land on the floor! She got immediate attention and caressing today and her belief system was strengthened that help will be on the way when trouble strikes. The situation could have been different, she might had to endure that helplessness a wee bit longer in order to be attended, given if someone was occupied in another room, tuning her belief system into a different accent. Yet another day, she could have been laughed at on the same act!

Again, who is carving this belief system?

Our (cosmic) artist I presume. His random and fine strokes that we receive while we are in that unconscious state of making.

Like our little infant, every one experiencing their first times is subject to receive each of these experiences in varied proportions. The lucky ones receiving more of the the softer touch of the world probably turning them into optimists. And the converse truly follows.

As a result of which, and by the time we grow wise enough to be able to make distinctions between the choices that the world has to offer, many of us already have, and of course unconsciously, developed our own perception about what the world outside is like and what is worth learning and what is not.

Our inclination towards a certain set of traits begin to reflect in our personality. The first strokes of the cosmic artist are at work. The path for the rest of the portrait have been decided and some expert eye can tell what the portrait will look like when completed.

"He will be humble and caring."

"She is always silently observing people."

"He is just like his grandfather. A perfectionist."

"Had we moved to the city earlier, he would have been smoking like his peers."

"She acts more like a boy."

"I cannot relate her to anyone of his family."

"What a kid, got the best of his parents and worst of none."

Some cosmic artist, without our knowledge, permission, or affirmation, has already sketched the outlines of the portrait that we are going to represent few years down the line.

We had no control on this. We were not able to control what is allowed to come into us. We were blank as a sheet... Absolutely vulnerable to the artistic strokes. Having absolutely no control of what we are going to be, what we are being turned into, what we are being subject to and how all this is shaping our final destiny.

AND if we are happy with the person we see in the mirror every morning, then we should be grateful that we had received just the right strokes of the cosmic artist. We have been shaped to head into just the right direction. Just the right doses of all the experiences to our vulnerable self have mutated our thought process to suit something that we enjoy doing today. That we are rewarded for. To react in a certain way to certain situations that we are regarded (or hated) for. To be someone that we ARE today.

Considering my own self, I feel lucky to have been in the right place when my own Self was subject to the strokes of the cosmic artist. I Feel lucky to have received the right amount of exposure to certain aspects of life followed by just the right amount of certain other experiences, continuously for years, until I grew wise enough to direct myself in my own ways; until I was able to gain enough vision of the world outside to find my own path in this Labyrinthian world.

So, whats important here? We all grow up like this and find our ways!

Important is our selves, that we live inside today, the self we do not know what went into its creation before we were not even aware of our very existence. Something conspired every second to form the substrate, building on which, we all find our destinations, realize our ambitions, fulfill our dreams, and provide a meaning to our existence. Important is the conspiracy that went into our creation! The process that we never happen to appreciate. That we never thank God for.

Even in the presence of a mess of randomness, the process of making of our selves was being directed by that something with such a precision that has no real analogy to present.

Like a silky smooth, fair colored feather of a bird being directed to you from a thousand miles away through the winds, storms and breezes only to give you a brief special appearance on a sunny day so that you may gain appreciation of beauty of yet another kind.

Yet another stroke of the cosmic artist. :-)